


Twice Forgiven

by newmrsdewinter



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Drunken Confessions, F/M, Fluff, also cuddling, consent and self-worth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 19:46:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8026630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newmrsdewinter/pseuds/newmrsdewinter
Summary: "You're acting like you want to be punished!" Lissa groaned.Lon'qu eyed her quizzically. "I should be," he said seriously. "I made a pass at your best friend, and I almost died."Lon'qu has trouble relating to women, and his blunders almost get him killed.





	Twice Forgiven

 

Twelve barrels of Anna's heartiest ale had been ordered for the night's festivities. There were three boars roasting on pits in cookfires scattered across camp, and the hardy, hickory fumes wafted from the embers towards Lon'qu's tent, but not all the food or liquor in the halidom could convince him to leave his quarters. He had three swords that needed reforging and one killing edge so battered that it merited a much-needed trip to the armory once they reached the capital. It was his favorite and most prized blade, the same one he used to impress Basilio at the first Feroxi tourney he competed in many years back.

Lon'qu balanced the hilt on the flat of palm, allowing the mirrored steel to catch the golden rays of late afternoon sunlight. He blinked at the reflection gazing back at him.

His loyalties were absolute. He had been taken aback when Basilio had ordered him to join Chrom's ragtag group of soldiers, but his surprise had only lasted as long as their first battle together. Not many Chon'sin swordsmen could boast to mastering the Feroxi blade alongside the royal style of the Ylissean Shepherds.

Mastering the sword had been his life's work ever since he left Chon'sin, and even his reasons for settling his roots in Ferox had been purely self-motivated. He had only accepted Chrom's request to shadow his sister because he was bored and tired of training with Vaike. But now, there was nothing remotely selfish about wanting to protect Ylisse's youngest princess, nothing remotely resembling self-preservation when he took two arrows for her in the shoulder during the final battle, one more than the time the assassins were trailing her.

He was too wound up in his own thoughts about Lissa to notice her knocking at his tent. She came at ten-minute intervals to his tent flap, knocking at a soft one-two-three beat that persisted until Lon'qu knew that her patience wouldn't last much longer.

Moments later, she stuck her head into the tent, pulling a face when one of her pigtails got caught in the flap. "Are you hungry?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Very sure."

"How's your shoulder doing?" She entered his tent and crawled forward, courteous enough to leave a healthy distance between them. "Do you need some more salve?"

"No."

"Too bad, I brought some anyway." Ignoring his protests, Lissa procured a small pot of salve and promptly began to uncork it.

Meaningless platitudes about love and devotion paled in comparison to his feelings towards Lissa, and that frightened him. Things he couldn't quantify at first glance were never usually worth his time, but not until he noticed little things about her that he never saw before in anyone else: the way her skirts flounced in the breeze when she skipped, the ambidextrous precision of her fingers when she sutured the wounds of the injured and dying, those same hands warm, gentle, and caring when she held his face for the first time.

To his relief, Lissa began slowly. She took his calloused hand in her own and threaded their fingers together. He didn't flinch. She pressed her lips in a taut smile. "You don't want any roast pork? I thought it's your favorite."

"I eat whatever's given to me."

She tilted her head to one side. "Anything? Even cockroach milk? That's gross, Lon'qu."

"Don't be absurd," he snapped, but not because he thought cockroach milk was disgusting too. Lissa's hand was massaging a soothing trail up his arm, easing his shirt down his shoulders so she could take a look at the ugly wound blooming on his back. He had been healed so many times in his life that it was hard to tell where the scar tissue ended and where it began.

"It's not your fault that I got injured," he muttered. "That's a reflection on my own failings as your bodyguard."

"But you're not my bodyguard anymore!" she groaned. "Look, we're _friends_ , or well, more than that now. Gaius even helped me make you a friendship scarf. There's a cat on it."

"That's a cat?"

"Oh, sheesh! It's a token of affection, you dork. You have to appreciate it."

There was a pause, and Lon'qu was used to long pauses, but this one hurt more than the wound she was trying to heal. His mind wandered. He thought of the way her pigtails poked out of her heavy war helmet when they were on the battlefield, how she had almost keeled over when she held her axe for the first time.

His voice almost cracked when he said, "I...I like it when you come to see me. Like this. I wish I didn't have to be injured for it to happen."

"Clerics like me are in high demand now that the war's over. I cost 500 gold coins an hour, y'know?"

"That's not funny," he said gruffly.

"Okay, you win." They bumped knees when she scooted closer. Once he was patched up, he placed a tentative arm around her small shoulders and pulled her close to his chest. Her head tucked under her chin, and he forced himself not to become hyper aware of his spotty vision and racing heartbeat.

"This is okay? You're okay with this?" Her voice was soft, her breath landing square on his chin when she shifted her weight. "Holding hands was a nice start."

"This...this is fine," he lied. "I could get used to this."

"You better, because Frederick can give better hugs than this when he's in full armor," she joked. "Nah, I'm kidding, Lon'qu. This is just fine."

"Mmmm." Swallowing his own discomfort, he let his hands ghost a light trail over her shoulders and down the pale juncture of her neck, ignoring his own resistance when she leaned closer into his embrace. It was instinct by now. Fascinated by Lissa's compliance, Lon'qu relaxed, gratified when she let his trembling hands wander. Slowly, he took out the bands in her pigtails so his fingers could comb through her hair. Watching her breathe was a meditative practice in testing his own limits, one that she had suggested when he nearly passed out when she tried to kiss him a couple weeks before. He was almost tempted to now.

"Are you gonna come out and party with us later?" she asked hopefully. "It's Chrom's engagement, and plus it's the end of the war, so you have to come out."

He peered down at her sweet, upturned expression and found it impossible to refuse. "Maybe."

"That's all I'm gonna get, huh?"

"I wouldn't bet on it."

"Huh?" Lissa's confusion was momentarily stymied when they heard someone shouting her name rather loudly from a distance. "Ugh! Frederick probably burned himself on bear meat again. Come and find me later tonight, okay? Please?"

"Yes, of course," he sighed, torn between regret and relief when she finally stood and dusted her skirts.

Before Lissa left, she made a motion to wrap her arms around his chest in a hug, but stopped short, startled by the stricken expression on his face, even though they had been so close together moments before.These little affections, surely instinctive to someone with so much love to give, would have caused him pass out on the spot weeks before.

"Alright, Lon'qu. Don't hurt yourself, okay?" Lissa hid her disappointment behind her smile. He noted that was becoming a common occurrence between the two of them. "Vaike wants to challenge you to something stupid when you come out, so be careful."

He grunted something in response when she closed the flap silently behind her, and mentally head-banged himself against the wooden beam at his own foolishness. Lissa needed to be shown that he loved her, he couldn't hide behind his phobia forever.

Lon'qu took out a small velvet box from the bottom of his satchel. Inside was a silver ring with a square-cut sapphire, something he thought would nicely compliment Lissa's eyes. Not that he knew much about colors to begin with. He hadn't been with Lissa for very long, but he liked to think he learned a thing or two since he met her.

After a dull pause, Lon'qu sighed and put the ring away for someday.

 

* * *

 

The party clearly showed no signs of dwindling down by the time Lon'qu emerged from his tent. The feast table had been thoroughly trashed ever since everyone finished eating, and Lon'qu spied five empty barrels of liquor rolling on their sides from across the camp, totally forgotten.

He hadn't been outside for very long until Vaike had found him hiding behind Chrom and his well-wishers. He only had enough time to mumble a gruff 'congratulations' before Vaike had him in a tight headlock, drunkenly booming something about a drinking game and a pouch of gold coins.

"Last man standing wins!" Vaike thumped his good fist against his chest. The other was held in a cloth sling around his shoulder. "The Vaike's gonna blow you outta the water!"

"I told you it was something stupid," said Lissa reproachfully.

"We'll see about that." Let it not be said that Lon'qu the brave forfeited challenges from drunk Ylissean fighters, even if he was totally unprepared. But he did have more qualms about being held hostage under Vaike's sweaty armpit than he had attending a tea party with Maribelle, so he complied grudgingly. 

Vaike's only response was a raucous roar of laughter, and they settled around a fire pit to begin the game. Lissa flanked his right side, tapping her foot disapprovingly as Lon'qu sat down. Their commotion had attracted a rather large crowd of Shepherds. From behind, Sully and Stahl were yelling encouragements in Vaike's ears, and Gaius and Gregor were taking bets from the rest of the army.

"I want to make it known that I heartily disapprove of all this," Chrom shouted above the din. He grinned widely. "That being said, I've got five gold coins on Lon'qu."

Vaike's cry of dismay was lost to the roar of laughter from everyone else.

"And all I have to do is drink...this?" Lon'qu gestured at the sizable pyramid of shot glasses that was placed before him on a crate.

Vaike took his first shot and slammed the glass upside down on the table in response. He thumped his chest and let out a booming war cry. "BRING IT!"

Frowning, Lon'qu took the shot glass on the highest tier and sniffed it with mild trepidation.

"How strong is it?" asked Lissa. "Can I try --" She made a grab for it, but he pulled it out of her reach

"No." He downed the liquor in one go and shook his head. "That wasn't so bad."

"Wait until you finish the rest," said Chrom. "You won't be feeling so confident then."

Lon'qu grimaced.

 

* * *

 

The game had ended abruptly when Vaike made a drunken pass at Sully's horse. Lon'qu had been left to his own devices after that, walking through the now-vacant camp hours after the celebrations had ended. He settled on a stump and buried his throbbing face in his hands, trying with much difficulty to banish the ringing in his ears. He was woefully unprepared for the long march back to Ylisstol the next day.

Wisps of gray clouds had passed over the moon, and he knew that he had been out long enough for night time to stretch into the early hours of morning. His head throbbed. He had demolished four large tiers of the pyramid before Vaike had forfeited, and he knew that he would have a hangover to rival all else the following morning.

And all he wanted right now was to hold Lissa's hand.

From a distance, he spotted a small figure walking across camp, and his face lit up when it drew near. "Lissa!" She whirled around, and there was suddenly a lot of blonde hair in his face.

"Do excuse me Lon'qu, is something the matter?" she asked. "Lon'qu?"

"Lissa...I'm sorry." And he really was. His heart wrenched every time he shirked away from her touch and he hated the small pout of disappointment on her face when she protested that it was okay, she could wait. She was impossibly understanding. Only the haze of drunken bravado could force him to do what he deemed necessary to prove himself worthy of her radiance.

"Dear, you'll have to speak up. Are you ill? I must say, you're rather pale." There were three Lissas swaying before him. His eyes darted between each of them, unsure of which one to address.

"Lissa..." He was going to do it. He was going to make the first move. He steeled himself for the full force of her embrace and reached out to stroke her cheek with the back of his knuckle. His heart fluttered. "I...I must tell you how --"

Her lips formed a small 'o' of shock, but it was short-lived. "You fiend! How dare you!" Maribelle shrieked. She knocked his hand back with a surprising amount of force and pelted him quite viciously with her parasol. "Have you no sense of shame!?"

"Gods!" Lon'qu sidestepped, but he couldn't escape. _Wrong blonde._ The alcohol buzzed pleasantly in his head as he covered his head and shouted his apologies, but it was no use. Any of the speed he championed in Ferox left him at this crucial juncture of pain.

"I have never been thus treated in my entire life!" _Smack_. "Baseborn brute!" _Smack_. "I'll snap your neck like a shrimp!" _Smack_.

"Gods help me!"

 

* * *

 

"Well, they do say that drunk minds speak sober hearts," sighed Lissa. She supported an impressive amount of his weight over her small frame and steered him back to his tent so he could salvage his wounded pride. "Really, Lon'qu! Geez, it was an honest mistake."

"A mistake nonetheless," he muttered, holding his side. He leaned against a wooden beam as she undid the fastenings to his tent flap. "An unfortunate mistake that should have never happened."

She sighed dramatically. "When me and Maribelle were young, sometimes we'd trade clothes and pretend to be each other. We fooled Chrom 'cause he's a dork, but not Emm or the maids. I'm sure she was just messing with you."

If that vindictive she-wolf was Maribelle in a playful mood, he shuddered to imagine what she's like when genuinely incensed. He felt a rush of sympathy for Vaike. "I'm sorry, Lissa."

"You're acting like you want to be punished!"

Lon'qu eyed her quizzically. "I should be," he said seriously. "I made a pass at your best friend, and I almost died."

Lissa rolled her eyes. "Lon'qu, you're _drunk_. Sheesh! Don't be so dramatic. You had my best interests in mind, right? She'll forgive you one day."

Truthfully, Maribelle's eventual forgiveness didn't interest him in the least. "Lissa?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"May I kiss you?"

"Nope!"

She giggled at his floored expression and patted him on the head. "Lon'qu, I'm not gonna take advantage of you in your sorry state. It wouldn't be fair. Besides, this is hardly the most romantic set-up for a first kiss, right? I want it to be perfect!"

He paused. "Lissa....I...don't deserve you. I tried telling you, or well -- Maribelle, but I...failed. Spectacularly."

"Oh, Lon'qu!" she said warmly. She beamed. "I'm _exactly_ what you deserve. G'night!" She took off before he could formulate a response.

Lon'qu lingered at his tent for a long spell, dumbstruck by her last statement. Here he was, a shell of a man who had been fixed so many times that he didn't even know where his soul had departed those many years before. Both of them needed fixing, some in sensitive areas more than the other. He had seen her sorrow too when her sister had died. He had known the same helplessness. They had endured together, and above all the odds, he still preferred her soft hand to Vaike's sweaty armpit. He groaned loudly at the thought.

The sun was beginning to peak over the horizon. Lon'qu entered his tent and slipped the wedding ring into his pocket.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I tried doing some experimentation with dialogue tags on this LonLissa excerpt that I forgot about in my FE folder, and it didn't really work out as planned. Oops. So, there really isn't much of a point to this fic other than WELP I TRIED. 
> 
> Hope you liked it!


End file.
